Sasuke on Sasuke
by Naraku's Phoenix
Summary: A one-shot. For when your ego is the size of a small planet.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

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Sasuke stood back and looked at his clone appreciatively.

"You are one good looking fellow, you know that?"

The clone stared back with a half-lidded gaze and licked his lips suggestively while nodding his head in a way he perceived to be sexy. In return Sasuke ran both of his hands through his hair, fisting certain sections of his raven locks respectively.

"You like that, don't you?" he said in a husky voice.

The clone answered by stepping forward long enough to reach around the real Sasuke and giving him a slap on the butt.

"Ooh!" exclaimed Sasuke, "Frisky." He and the clone both eyed each other up and down appreciatively. Sasuke ran his hands up and down his exposed torso, massaging different portions and tracing small patterns with his fingers across his skin. The clone responded by hugging himself and running his hands up and down his sides; he stood in place and swayed his hips to match rhythms.

"The girlies love us 'cause we're hot," said clone Sasuke. The real Sasuke moaned and bit his lip.

"So, so hot."

The clone hurriedly picked up the pitcher of water that was resting on the small table next to them and immediately dumped all its contents onto the real Sasuke's head, completely drenching him in the chilly water.

"YES!!!" screamed Sasuke. He threw his head back to relish the feeling, and then unknotted his purple belt letting the additional layer of fabric over his pants fall to the floor. Sasuke made the clone turn around and bend over, and then he used the rope belt to tie the clone's hands to the bed post. Sasuke stood close behind his bent over clone and started spanking him. "Tell me I'm pretty!" he all but yelled.

"You're pretty!" cried the clone, "like a princess!"

"Straight up," said Sasuke. He spanked the clone a few more times before untying him, to which the clone promptly stood up and began slapping the Uchiha left and right across his face.

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" repeated the clone each time he slapped the real Sasuke.

"Because I'm a dirty boy!" answered Sasuke, "I'M A DIRTY, DIRTY BOY!!!"

"Does the dirty boy want to take a shower?" asked the clone.

"NO!" protested Sasuke, "I like being dirty!"

The clone gave no reply to further this direction of the conversation but instead he put on an eye patch. "Give me your booty!"

"No!" said Sasuke.

"But I want it," demanded the clone.

"Want what?"

"I want your booty!"

"Oh!" gasped Sasuke.

The clone had shoved Sasuke up against the wall on his stomach and was goosing him from behind while the clone's chest made direct contact with Sasuke's back.

"You have the firmest buttocks I've ever had the privilege of touching," said the clone.

"And your chest," replied Sasuke, "It's so chiseled!"

"You're so manly! All the other guys are jealous and all the girls want to have you babies," commented the clone. Sasuke suddenly pushed back and got off of his position on the wall. He turned around, pushed the clone in a chair, and threw a book at him.

"Read it to me!" commanded Sasuke. The clone obeyed once he removed his eye patch.

"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the Plains," read the clone.

"You tell me where it rains!"

"In Spain!"

"WHERE IN SPAIN?"

"IN THE PLAINS!"

"WHERE IN THE PLAINS?"

"**MAINLY **IN THE PLAINS!!!"

"_Bow Chika wow wow…_" With the clone still seated Sasuke started performing an interpretive lap dance. The clone bobbed his head side to side in a steady beat while he watched Sasuke work.

Sasuke shuffled a few steps to the left before planting his feet and placing his hands on his hips. From there he did a few pelvic thrusts before spinning and repeating the action. He put his hands behind his head and swiveled his hips around in a circular motion. The clone had a sharp intake of breath and spread his legs wide apart when Sasuke dropped to the floor in front of him and started crawling towards him. Sasuke used the clone's legs as leverage as he pulled himself up; upon reaching the thighs he pushed himself back into a standing position whereupon he jumped back a step and started doing jumping jacks. After that he dropped to the floor and did some pushups on his knuckles.

"You're so physically fit!" complimented the clone, "And toned, ah, so perfectly molded. You, by far, are the finest specimen of male shinobi."

Sasuke dropped to the floor on one knee and flexed his triceps.

This was way better than looking in the mirror any day.

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**Naraku's Phoenix****: **Well…I'm not entirely sure how this idea came about, but I needed a break from _Donna Sakura_. I guess this stemmed from Sasuke's arrogant portrayal in the majority of all fanfics and it took off from there. I expect flames from a few of you, but for the most part I hope everyone got a good chuckle.


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